Look Mom…No Hands! written by Tracy Bryan

  shutterstock_65556871I received two literary awards recently. I feel honored and surprisingly pleased at this acknowledgement from my colleagues, for all the hard work I’ve done. Validation is so essential to all of us, regardless of how old we are. shutterstock_294515117   From the gold star I received back in elementary school, to the time I rode my bike without training wheels, and then later when I did a back flip off the diving board. These are all times in my childhood when I needed validation for something I had achieved. It was thrilling to receive praise for my accomplishments and this praise left me with a feeling of pride for what I’d done. We all need these little reminders from other people as a child, a teenager and all throughout our life.  shutterstock_235150045 The independent mental health social network source I frequently use, called Psych Central, defines Validation as; the recognition and acceptance of another person’s internal experience as being valid. Self-validation is the recognition and acknowledgement of your own internal experience. shutterstock_156465995   Before anyone else, it’s a parent’s responsibility to introduce and instill the concept of validation within their child and to inspire the development of self-validation inside their child. Both of these attributes received and acquired by the child, give them an opportunity to be understood by others and to understand themselves.shutterstock_129995633     shutterstock_70171102Validation and a child's own self-validation also gives them a chance to recognize their behaviors and it establishes a foundation to help them regulate their emotions related to these behaviors. These are fundamental skills all people need in order to successfully live and feel a connection with other people.  shutterstock_78394249Above all, validation helps us feel accepted and important. Everybody needs to feel part of some kind of a group (family, friends, work and/or public organization). Connection within a certain group is a constant reminder that we fit in and are part of something. shutterstock_32848684Getting recognition for our work and successes is part of this and without recognition, we would have no motivation to succeed further or achieve more. Without self-validation, we would lack the necessary emotions it takes to prevail in everyday life because we wouldn’t feel worthy or capable of this.   shutterstock_218767141Feeling worthy and full of purpose is really one of the primary achievements most people hope to accomplish in their life. It’s amazing how essential the simple acts of praising someone or simply letting them know that they did good can also increase their value in this world! shutterstock_120109078   I say try it with someone you love or even a stranger. Try to do it everyday if you can and keep in mind that everyone needs to remember that childhood feeling of being validated by someone they care about.   Close your eyes and imagine a time when someone watched you ride your bike without training wheels. Remember that feeling you got when receiving their smile of validation? Maybe you even yelled, “Look mom. No hands!” shutterstock_135955514             shutterstock_96453209Tracy Bryan is a self-published author for kids aged 2-11. She writes whimsical picture books about emotions, self-esteem, values and coping skills. Tracy also likes to tackle social issues and speak directly to her readers about important topics that affect everyone. Tracy lives in Central Florida with her family and two dogs Jack and Rusty! Please visit Tracy's website tracybryan.com or email her at tracy@tracybryan.com   *Definition Adapted from: blogs.psychcentral.com/emotionally-sensitive/  

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